Posted: 12:48 p.m. Monday, July 15, 2013
By Eric Murtaugh
As we told you a while back, EA Sports is trying to "Keep it Real" with this year's version of NCAA College Football 2014. They did a really good job with the new physics engine for running the ball and we applauded them for that.
Then they had to go and give the Irish defense a 93 rating.
I know Manti Te'o graduated and everything but are they still aware that Louis Nix is playing nose guard? Irish Chocolate is in the game, right? I mean, his likeness is? You know what I mean!
To me, a defense with Nix is probably somewhere in the 107 to 108 range. I think that's a pretty conservative estimate. You could talk me into something in the low 110's range as well.
Maybe it's not the defense's rating that I should be concerned about but rather the offense which also came in at 93. As the world's best pet detective once said, "Fiction can be fun, but I find the reference section much more enlightening."
A 93 for this Irish offense? Are you high, EA Sports?
To be fair, that rating did include One Who Should Not Be Slept On But Due To Some Academic Concerns We Shall Pull Out The Number 5 Bed Sheets And In Fact Sleep On Them.
So now the question becomes what is the offense rating with Tommy Rees as the starting quarterback? I'm thinking maybe a 27 or so? I mean, we're going to struggle getting first downs in most games now, right?
Our only hope is for true freshman Greg Bryant to ride in on his Florida steed and save the offense by running the ball 48 times a game and scoring mad touchdowns. I don't know what his rating in the game is at the moment but I do know that if they were to rate calf muscles GB's would be dominating the competition.
I don't know if EA Sports kept it real with the 93 overall rating, either. Sure the offense is now a black hole of nothingness unable to be saved except by Bryant's majestic leg muscles, but surely Bob Diaco in computer form boosts the overall team rating? Is there a slider for defensive coordinator hair volume because that's all the way to the right with Bobby D if such a thing exists, and it should.
As you can see you can try to Keep it Real with Notre Dame but it's a difficult task. We'll have to settle for a measly 93 rating for 2014 but it could be worse. We could be Alabama and complaining about how the overall rating isn't 356,086,085,901,302,210,204,094,480.