, Fla. — Parents may recognize when their child is being mistreated, but identifying when their child is hurting someone else can be more difficult.
October is Bullying Prevention Month, and Kylie Miller, a clinical manager at teletherapy provider VocoVision, is encouraging families to address persistent harmful behavior with clear expectations, communication and support.
“Understanding the reasons behind this behavior can help parents address it more effectively,” Miller said. “With patience, empathy, and the right strategies in place, children can learn healthier ways to interact and form positive relationships.”
Recognize what bullying means
Bullying involves unwanted aggressive behavior, a real or perceived imbalance of power, and conduct that is repeated or could be repeated, according to StopBullying.gov.
It can include threats, physical attacks, spreading rumors or deliberately excluding someone. An isolated disagreement does not necessarily meet that definition, although harmful behavior still deserves attention.
About 19% of students ages 12 through 18 reported being bullied during school in the 2021-22 school year, according to the National Center for Education Statistics.
Watch for patterns in behavior
Federal guidance lists several possible signs that a child may be bullying others:
- Frequently getting into verbal or physical fights
- Becoming increasingly aggressive
- Having friends who bully others
- Receiving repeated school disciplinary referrals
- Having unexplained money or new belongings
- Blaming others and refusing to accept responsibility
These signs are reasons to start a conversation, not proof that a child is bullying someone. They can also indicate other problems, according to StopBullying.gov’s warning signs guide.
Miller also encourages parents to ask about changes in friendships, defensiveness about particular incidents and troubling online interactions.
Ask whether the child is also being bullied
Some children experience bullying while also bullying others. Federal guidance emphasizes that children can occupy different roles in different situations.
Miller said asking about a child’s own experiences may help parents understand anger, feelings of powerlessness or difficulties with peers.
Understanding those experiences can help adults support the child while addressing the harm caused to others.
Build communication and accountability
Miller recommends regular, open-ended conversations about school and friendships, modeling respectful behavior and practicing constructive ways to handle disagreements.
Parents can use role-playing to help children practice responding to frustration or resolving conflicts without insults, threats or aggression.
Families should also discuss concerns with teachers or school counselors to understand what is happening across settings and coordinate a response.
More information for families is available at StopBullying.gov.
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