Jesse (my love, my one, my real) ~
It has been a while since I have had the chance to actually sit down and write to you, without all the clutter, noise and chaos festering in the background.. Much of which, has been haunting us since our precious girl has been forcibly taken away from us. Though we have been a family united together for just under two years now, it's as though I've been united with you, for all my existence.
And in some ways, perhaps I have.
To say that I have waited for you, to come before me, as I have you, would be an understatement. We both knew what is out there, and from where each of us has come from, it probably made it that much easier for us, to shun all the lowered expectations and desecrations from those before have amassed as some tribal refuse, as we contemplated our lives together. We have always been dreaming of something better. Something or someone we could trust. Something or someone we could believe in. Something or someone we could love and cherish, without shame, without fear, and without blemish.
And for each one of us, that something was each other.
We have often spoken of our lives, as to our vastly unique experiences and energies that have drawn us together, and I am so very sorry, there are now some other forms of vastly unique experiences and energies that are now trying to tear us apart, as a family united. I know you are more than keenly aware that the kindness, beauty, and truth that we shared, are being more than tested as our beautiful, little girl, languishes in some foreign atmosphere and realm, far removed from the love and support that we provided her, as she now dreams of her rescue, haunted by the nightmare she currently cannot escape on her own.
I remember the day I published that post on Craigslist, under my pseudonym "please don't die."
That fateful day at last, we finally found each other ... the day we needed to find each other ... how it made us more inseparable than trying to peel apart a peanut butter and jelly sandwich ... how we just belonged together, perfectly and harmoniously stuck, between those slices of white bread. And how we each knew, that to separate those slices, could never be peeled apart cleanly, as there will always be a part of us, on each other ... rather, in each other.
We both were in some really unfortunate situations too. Both of us being rejected and abandoned by society as outcasts, as it were, or as they tried to make us believe, anyway. I remember how scared each one of us were, that our beliefs of LOVE were unique unto our own, and that LOVE was a lost art form, within the confines of a system that preaches and demands dependency and conformity of thought.
And how each of us KNEW that we were so much more than that.
So much more than anyone could ever recognize or believe.
Odd sometimes, the things I remember about our first meeting on those shores of Daytona Beach. How we both were abandoned by our last loves (or what we thought were our loves). How disempowered we both felt. How alone we felt in the universe. How we thought that wishing upon our stars was considered child's play, yet how each of us carried that same innocence of a child, in our hearts and souls.
I remember glossing over with you my "please don't die" outreach. How I explained that I used to volunteer for We Care as a suicide/crisis prevention intake specialist (for lack of a better word). How I explained that I felt saving someone's life was such an outdated concept, faulty in its construction and premise ... that anyone could save someone's life by locking them away in some room, where they couldn't hurt themselves for a day or so, and how that did nothing to address any problem, or situation, whatsoever. And in many cases, made matters worse.
Ah, but to give someone a life worth living?
That was always the real trick for me, and for my outreach.
What I failed to realize is that with all those people I thought I was helping before you ... all those posts I wrote on Craigslist, under various aliases from the pepperoni guy, to tan man, to the light and love guy, to the magic moose dude, and quite too many others to recall, just trying to save the world from itself, as if the world wanted my saving. Ha. In time, I came to find that I was actually also looking for someone to help me. Not to save my life, per se, but to give me a reason ... to give me a life worth living.
And before you, Jesse ... I'm not sure I really ever had that.
Sure, I've been in love before ... that wonderful, walking on air, feeling that all is well with the cosmos, that high that no one wants to ever come down from. But come down, one always does, when one builds love up as some elaborate fabrication in one's own mind, not realizing that true LOVE comes from a much different place.
"It is only with the heart, that one can see rightly ... What is essential is invisible to the eye" ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery (The Little Prince)
Alas, I met you. And from that very first meeting, it was though, I felt real LOVE.
My universe expanded, as did my consciousness of what was REAL.
LOVE as a verb ... an action, if you will ... the sacrificing of one's self, for the spiritual nurturing and growth of another. And I felt that same LOVE that you gave to me, so very freely, that I so freely gave unto you.
Never once did I exhaust in that giving.
Nor will I ever.
I remember as the waves, washed upon our bare feet and legs, crashing over, again and again, during that full moon ... days after I posted that post, for YOU, as it were. How we both wanted so desperately to consume one another, to feel each other's flesh upon our own skin, to deeply inhale and ingest each other. I remember how each of us commented on such passionate animal magnetism, save how we did nothing to consummate that carnal desire that evening, as we each knew this was something much stronger than what the masses chose to frolic in. How we knew this to be so much more. Further, how neither one of us dare diminish or deplete that which we came together for, in the first place. How we knew this was something so much more than some feigned destiny spun by the three Fate's Wheel of Fortune.
Can you see it spinning now, my love?
We just stood there, under that delightful moon, glossing over each other, telling our stories, free from fear, and basking in something that we both never recognized before with any of our past loves, or lovers ... a PURITY of sorts ... something that neither one of us dare dishonor, nor would allow to be corrupted ... even to this day.
"There are two ways to become the light ... either be the candle or the mirror that reflects it" ~ Edith Wharton
Jesse ... we are that light.
We have always been that light.
And we will always be that light.
Brightly shine do we, regardless of those who have been trying to extinguish such, as they cannot conceive of such a trueness of self ... a trueness of spirit ... a trueness of LOVE.
One only need to read some of the disruptive comments people are saying at the bottom of those misguided news articles, to realize their distrust of something so very foreign to them.
"Living is easy with eyes closed ... Misunderstanding all you see" ~ Lennon/McCartney (Strawberry Fields Forever)
I further remember from that blessed evening, and all evenings since, how we vowed to LOVE, HONOR, and PROTECT each other, not just yesterday, or today, but forevermore. How we vowed that nothing would or could ever separate us. And even now, after all the horrible, sensationalized media reports, the despicable DCF lies being told, the fabricated narratives being spun with web-like precision, and the horrid corruption and misguided notions from those that would seek to tear us apart, and destroy our family ...
How absolutely humbled, honored, and blessed I am to have you as my LOVE, my ONE, and my REAL.
Certainly, I have made my fair share of mistakes in the past. Moreover, I very well might make some mistakes, moving forward. Truly, I would expect as much. Perfect, I am not. I may wish to be, save all have fallen short of the glory of God. I am hardly an exception to that rule.
Surely you know, that ALL of my choices, then, now, and in the future, come from a place of purity. It is from that purity that permeate my choice to LOVE, HONOR, and PROTECT you and Penelope.
Don't you ever forget ... and I mean EVER ... that you are simply the most beautiful, intelligent, fascinating, powerful, all encompassing woman on the face of this planet, and beyond ... and I LOVE YOU!!!
When I tell you that, Jesse ... please remember, I give you my WORD.
And my word is my BOND.
As we struggle and fight to rescue our precious Penelope, we still collect those pennies. Those same pennies we used to collect as we both were rebuilding from nothing, when we first met. How we had nothing. It was if, we previously allowed ourselves to believe that we were nothing. As society and those that surrounded us, taught and preached that we were nothing. It was that same nothingness, that we rose from the ashes from, together, as a family united. A tapasia of sorts ... a straightening by fire, as it were.
And how, in and through each other, together, we knew we were anything and everything we ever wanted to be ... and what we most certainly, deserved to be.
Regardless of their continued attempts to have us believe otherwise.
As people start to awaken, they see our light visible from miles away, and for many out there, it frightens them.
But as you know, many are starting to see the TRUTH, evidenced by the growing numbers of those offering their love, support, and prayers, as we move forward, without fear.
Frightening those who sleepwalk, all the more.
And as we start to rebuild in a much newer fashion, we may have no home, as of this date ... we have no real money to speak of, much like when we first met, and they would have you believe that we have nothing left, or nothing left to believe in.
Fools they are.
What they fail to realize is that we have more than we could ever possibly have hoped for, because we are richer than we could ever have possibly dreamed of before, because we are now filled to capacity with LOVE, and no matter what they attempt to take from us, we are richer than we ever thought possible.
And I have YOU, to thank for that.
I love you, Jessica Elizabeth McCreery.
I always have.
And I always will.
I promise you, we will rescue our precious little girl from the clutches and grips of those who are attempting to keep her away from the same kindness, beauty, and truth, that we have always shared with each other, and with her.
Please make no mistake ... They are actively circling their wagons, and are more than attempting to forever keep her from us. Not many people have the courage or critical thought to see that TRUTH. What they fail to realize is that we are light, and regardless of the darkness that they preach, our light will always outshine their darkness.
Allow me to lend you a match, my dear....
We shall lead the way ... hand in hand, together.
Remember, my dear... always remember who you are ... and remember, above all else ... you are beautiful and you are loved!!!
And for our little girl, who is exhaustingly crying herself to sleep, because she is without us and our love ...
Penelope ... my beautiful baby girl ... I know you can hear me out there ... I just know you can hear me ... please hang on ... hang on little girl ... we are coming .... remember who you are ... remember where you came from ...
Daddy and Mommy are coming for you ...
I promise.
You have my WORD.
In kindness, beauty, and truth,
~ David
WFTV
